TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY!

TOMORROW IS THE DAY! WOO!

My very wonderful coworkers brought me a smorgasbord of goodies!! They are the sweetest!

Tonight is the Royal Wedding parrrrrr-tay!! I was going to show you our hats, but I couldn't get the pictures to save!! SADFACE. FRUSTRATEDFACE.

But check out these crazies! This is Princess Eugenie of York and Princess Beatrice of York. Just expect us to look like these two. Guaranteed.

Have a great weekend! HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE TO ME !

Still 2 Days Til My Birthday!

Two blogskies in one dayskies!!!! Lucky you!
Here are some pics from Easter baking with mom.

Sugar Cookie Bars, Nilla Wafer Cupcakes and Oreo Cupcakes.
Is your mouth watering?

2 Days Till My Birthday!

Tomorrow is the Royal Wedding!! At like 3am CST, right? I was gonna blog about it tomorrow but it will have already happened! My friend TReedy13 used her Facebook status to declare hatred for the event. I told her she was just jealous that she wasn't becoming a real live princess.. But I kind of agree with T, what is the big deal? I mean, compare it to something that would affect me, so I know what kind of deal this really is for my friends in Great Britain. Besides a good excuse to wear your prom dress again to Lynn and Steve's Royal Wedding party, happenin' TOMORROW. I'm psyched!

Remember the last party at Lynn and Steve's? No? Because I didn't have pictures. I know. But this time I WILL. How can I not take pics of me in my prom dress.. again. Anywho, I'm also wearing a hat. Because hats make you British. WAIT.  UNTIL.  YOU.  SEE.  US.

Spirits at 7.
Feast at 8.
Reception to follow until Midnight and MY BIRTHDAY! I told Lynn I would expect fireworks. I'm confident she's already got those planned.
AND. Per usual (what does that even mean?). Carriage parking!! For mom's shoes, of course.

I looked 'per usual' up. I used it correctly.. it's a relic (something preserved..) from older English . PERF!
Somebody hi-five me for being incredibly smart.

Because you haven't seen enough of these two..

Happy Thursday!

OMGW! 3 Days Till My Birthday!

OMGW! MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 3 DAYS! And KCAV and Jay Cutler are engaged! HOLLER!

And some people el sucko at emailing.  I can't give the example on the off chance that this specific sucky emailer reads my blog, then she'll (Oops, now we know it's a she, I've said too much.) know I was talking about her. And for the record, I'm like 99.99999% sure she will never see my blog. But since it's on the internet, and the internet is avail to everyone in the universe, I have to take the necessary precautions. But basically, when I ask you a question, it's probably a good idea to answer it. I mean, when it's work related. Otherwise, do what you want. I ain't the boss of you.

More importantly, this morning on SBTB, it was Lisa's birthday! And KPow (HOLLA TK!) dumped Zack for college hunk, Jeff. Ew. Anyway, I thought to myself, "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm how appropriate!!!" Do you get it? Because my birthday is this weekend, too! And while I may not be passing out invitations, I will be happy to give you a list of my favorite stores. Remember, there are only 2 shopping days left!

And because I know you're dying to know..

1. Have you ever been stuck in an elevator?

Yeah, with this gal named Becky. She had a baby.

2. Have you ever ridden on an elephant?

Yes! It's pretty awesome.

3. Have you ever met a well known celebrity?

Here's the best story I got.
I was the at the airport with mom.
There was a tall, strapping man.. dressed head to toe in a black, Air Jordan jumpsuit.
 Complete with a black cap, and black kicks.
He was kind of hanging out on the other side of the baggage claim carousel. I was intrigued.
I wandered around the carousel, like I had intentions of doing something totally important.
And BAM! It's Isaac Bruce!
Before I said anything to Sir Ike, I ran back to Mom. I said, "that's Isaac Bruce."
Mom said, "Go say hi!"
I said, "Nooo, should I?"
Mom said, "Yes!"
So I did.
First, I was like waving frantically yelling, "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!!!!!
And then I was like, "Uh. I mean.. Mr. Bruce."
After I re-introduced myself, he remembered exactly who I was. (YAHTZEE!)
We chatted. We're BFF, like Lo and me.

Isaac Bruce trained at Sports Enhancement Group. I did, too.
Once, he was on my relay team, as the anchor. Smart, right?
WRONG. We had to bear crawl. Ike is the worst bear crawler I've ever seen.

4. Do you have any food allergies?

No!

5. Do you know how to sew?

I mean, not like my mom knows how to sew. But I'm confident I could fix your button.
Or those holey jeans that you bought already holey.

6. Did you get an allowance when you were young?

Heck yes! Sometimes I would tell Mom that Dad told me to tell Mom to pay me my allowance.
And then after I got my moolah, I'd go to Dad and tell Dad that Mom didn't have cash so he should pay me.
Brings a whole new meaning to, "DUAL INCOME HOUSEHOLD."
Just kidding Mom and Dad.
I am an angel.

7. How often do you fill up your gas tank?

My dad drives me to work.

8. Have you ever been stung by a jelly fish?

No! Sophie has and none of us knew about the urine thing at the time.
Sophie was young and impressionable then, she probably woulda let me pee on her.

9. Have you ever been robbed?

Right now I'm missing my totally fabulous umbrella.
I'm not convinced I was robbed, but I think it was stolen.

10. What is the worst haircut you’ve ever had?

Hehehe, I'm sure I have pics of it somewhere!! I don't know how to explain it besides awful.
I was young, like 10 maybe.
I went in with a picture and came out looking nothing like the picture.
Here's the pic.


 I'm not even kidding.
I think I wanted a haircut like the blond.
You're welcome.

Happy Wednesday!!

4 Days Till My Birthday!

Happy Tuesday. And happy 4 days before my birthday.

And here are some balloons!

Have a super day!

That's sorta it...

My Birthday is April 30. That's in 5 Days, Don't Forget.

5 days! WOO!
Are you one of those people that lists your birthday has your favorite holiday?  I'm not.  Because guess what, your birthday is not a holiday.  HOWEVER, I will tell you it's my birthday.  I will expect wishes and probably presents from you, and I will celebrate for more than 1 day.  Something else I do?  I always stay up till midnight on the 29th, which is actually the 30th.  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  My mom plays the Happy Birthday Jessica song for me.  You may have it, too.  Except it says your name.  And it's from Zoom.  And he lives on the moon.  And he came down to Earth just to sing me this tune.  Because Jessica, it's your birthday.  Like that.  And it's on a cassette.  It's really the only reason we still have a cassette player.  For ME!  And MY BIRTHDAY!

I'm gonna be 26. Which means I've been driving for 10 years. Basically makes me an expert.

Today is my Friday. Jealous?

Happy Thursday to you, happy Friday to me! Tomorrow is a holiday! WOO! So today is my Friday! But I have to work Saturday.. poo.

Because you're dying to know...

1.  How often do you do laundry?

All the time.

And if I bring it downstairs, and put it in it's respected color basket, mom or dad will do it, too.
Hi-five.

2.  What is your favorite type of cookie?

Chocolate Chip, especially in the form of dough.

3.  What would you do with an extra $2000 per month?

Pay my car off faster.
And then go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4.  What was/is your favorite subject in school?

Science!

5.  Have you ever ridden in a hot air balloon?

No. Not really at the top of my list either.

6.  What was your high school mascot?

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COLTS!

7.  If you had the chance to go into space, would you?

Abso-freakin-lutely!

8.  How often do you go dancing?

Ummm, not often enough.

I rarely say, "Let's go dancing!"

Usually, we go out, to a bar, where you can dance.

9.  Would you rather drive or fly?

I'd rather snap my fingers and be wherever I wanna be.

10.  Have you ever been caught re-gifting?

Caught. No. Have I re-gifted? Yes.

This one was lame-o. Sunday is Easter! We're are going to church, and putting candy in our pockets. Because that's what Jesus would do.

Have a great weekend!



OMGW

OMG! Remember how we were taught to put two spaces after every sentence.  And then our computers started doing that or not doing that for us. Well, guess what. Computers don't do it for us!  I definitely forgot that was proper sentence structure-ing, so now I'm trying to etch it back into muscle memory.

And, OMG!  I just (in a text to Capt. Tim) used the word "sprinkle" and not associated with cupcakes.  I've never done that before.  Well, not in a long, long time.  I like the word "sprinkle."  I think I'm going to use it more.

Ok. This is actually my real OMG! for OMGW!  How 'bout this Midwest weather!!  Holla if you hear me! (I said/typed that yesterday.  Totally loved doing it, too.)  I'm sure everyone in the universe saw the radar and heard the ridonkulousness via their local news.  Storms are like Haunted Houses.  People get so worked up before anything happens, they end up scaring themselves.  Which is either pretty amazing or completely absurd.  Now, for those that are actually afraid of storms, I'm not talking to you...

So, here's the thing.  Tornadoes suck.  I don't know personally, but I have seen Night of the Twisters.  Sup, Devon Sawa.  And I know they cause serious damage and blah blah blee blah blee bo.  I'm not downplaying tornadoes and their seriousness.  But sometimes it's just a freakin' t storm (like last night, in our area).  Enjoy the perfect cookie making weather.  I heard on the radio, that if you were at Macy's at West County mall last night, you were forced to go into the basement and then pushed into a super special tornado protecting corner.  I was 4 miles from the mall, at Vetta, playing an indoor soccer game (And scoring 4 goals, and winning 15-1.. By. The. Way.) in a tin building.  We heard the sirens.  That's another thing.  Just because you hear a siren, doesn't mean there is a tornado.  Well, I guess, sort of, it does.  It means tornado activity has been identified.  Which is the same as a tornado warning.  So, if there is a tornado warning, and no siren.  What do you do?  You probably don't get pushed into a corner of Macy's basement.  But, because of all the "there's gonna be a badass tornado on top of your house" hype, people went nutso.  Now, if there was a badass tornado on top of your house, email me, I'll come help you clean it up.   Because that means you read my blog.

Putting two spaces after every sentence is hard.

Cutest tornadoes ever!

Happy Wednesday!

Canker Sores.

Yeah, that's right. Canker Sores.

I was gonna wait and just blog tomorrow so I could do another survey. But then it would totes look like I only blog on Wednesdays. Which appears to be partially true. And, of course, I don't have any pictures uploaded from the weekend. So I can't blog about that.

So, back to our topic of the day. First thing's first. Canker sores are NOT Herpes. Herpes is a virus. Canker sores are NOT. So save the jokes that Jessica's got herpes. 1. They're irrelevant and 2. They're not even funny.

I remember getting a canker sore as a young pup. And then a few here and there while growing up. Let's say a year ago-ish, I started getting them every month. Not cool. So, I googled "canker sore." (Smart. Eh?) I got some scoop and started paying more attention to when I got them and my en-vi-ron-mental factors. (Who's a genius!?) (I have to say en-vi-ron-mental like that to spell it right.)

Below is what my research concluded (these are also causes of canker sores).

1. A minor injury to your mouth from dental work, overzealous brushing, sports mishaps, spicy or acidic foods, or an accidental cheek bite (Check. Espesh overzealous brushing.. hilarious!)
2. Food sensitivities, particularly to chocolate, coffee, strawberries, eggs, nuts, cheese and highly acidic foods, such as pineapple (Check.)
3. Food allergies (Doubt it.)
4. A diet lacking in vitamin B-12, zinc, folate (folic acid) or iron (A Possibility. Check.)
5. An allergic response to certain bacteria in your mouth (Nope.)
6. Helicobacter pylori, the same bacteria that cause peptic ulcers (I mean.. probs.)
7. Celiac disease, a serious intestinal disorder caused by a sensitivity to gluten, a protein found in most grains (Hell no.)
8. Inflammatory bowel diseases, such as Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis (Totally check.)
9. Behcet's disease, a rare disorder that causes inflammation throughout the body, including the mouth (Ew. Stop it. NO.)
10. A faulty immune system that attacks healthy cells in your mouth instead of pathogens, such as viruses and bacteria (Probably sometimes.. like when i'm feeling yucky because I had too much alcky the night before.)
11. HIV/AIDS, which suppresses the immune system (Nope. I get tested every year. So should you.)
12. Hormonal shifts during menstruation (Holla if you hear me! Check!)
13. Emotional stress (Duh. I'm soooooooooooo emotional. Not really. But I'm sure it comes with numero 12.)
14. Toothpastes and mouth rinses containing sodium lauryl sulfate (Ohh, I need to check my toothpaste's ingredients.)

Also, some risk factors...

1. Being female. Canker sores, especially clusters of small lesions, are more common in women. (I am woman. Hear me roar. F! CHECK!)
2. Having a family history. About one-third of people with recurrent canker sores have a family history of the disorder. This may be due to heredity or to a shared factor in the environment, such as certain foods or allergens. (Mom got one the other day. Check!)

(Work cited http://www.bing.com/health/article/mayo-125955/Canker-sore?q=canker+sores)

Ok. So. Bottom line.

Jessica will get canker sores.

So, once I figured all this mumbo jumbo out. I took matters into my own hands and called mi doctora. She said, "There is no cure." I said, "I WANT A SECOND OPINION!" Just kidding. Then she said, "Try Vitamin B." So I did! And it WORKED! Until now (Actually, I think it's still working). I currently have two canker sores brewing. HOWEVER, I'm confident they're less ridiculously painful than pre-Vitamin B. I bit the heckles out of my lip a few days ago, so I expected a canker sore. There is definitely some type of lesion, but I feel like it's getting better instead of worse. KNOCK ON WOOD. And I noticed a little soreness on the inside of my cheek. But again, I think it's getting better. Please little baby Jesus, let me be right!

I've tried the junk you put on canker sores to 'numb' them or whatever. It doesn't work. As soon as something touches the spot where you put the junk, it ruins whatever the junk was trying to do. Plus, it tastes awf! I've also tried the mouth washes specifically FOR canker sores. I don't remember it helping, but it certainly didn't hurt. I've also been told to put a dab a regular ol' mouthwash on the canker sore. It will hurt for a moment, but relieve you of the pain afterwards. It definitely murdered my mouth, but didn't relieve me of anything after 20 hours of sobbing and holding ice cubes to my previously murdered lip or cheek. I've tried chewing bell peppers (home remedy). Chewing peppers is supposed to take the pain out. It doesn't.

Do you have any tips for me and my canker sores?

Happy Tuesday. Sorry if I grossed you out.

OMGW!

HELLO! THREE OF MY FRIENDS HAVE BIRTHDAYS TODAY! OH. EM. GEE! I'm sure there are more, but I haven't been on Facebook yet to get the full count. So include yourself in what I'm about to say.

Happy Happy Birthday to the Notorious CJB.

Don't you wish you had a picture as awesome as this?

Happy Happy Birthday to Sara Struve-a-loov.

My comment on FB read: I hope everyone noticed how awesome we were this night.
Sara's read: Surely they did.
(Something along those lines...)

Happy Happy Birthday to my niece's daddy, Gooch.

And now, a little more about me. Thank goodness for Leigh Ashley and her Wee Bit Wednesdays that I copy weekly...

1. Have you ever fainted?

I was pretty close once.

I was getting the pins pulled out of my newly repaired thumb.

Get out the pics, Mom!!

2. What is your favorite casino game?

Black Jack!

3. Do you have a good sense of direction?

Totes! I think it's more along the lines of a good memory.

4. Laptop or desktop?

I'm not picky.

5. What is your go-to hair style when having a bad hair day?

First of all, I never have a bad hair day.

Because my hair is so awesome.

And because it's hard to have a bad hair day when you always wear your hair in a ponytail.

6. Do you read the newspaper on a daily basis?

No. Hello, that's what yahoo is for!

7. Do you have a favorite celebrity chef?

My mother.

8. What TV show would you like to make a guest appearance on?

Friday Night Lights.. as Tim Riggins' girlfriend.

Thanks.

9. Do you have satellite radio in your car?

Yes!! 90s on 9!

10. What was the last movie that made you cry?

Country Strong, I think.

Happy Wednesday!

Housekeeping!

Sup.

So, this morning, while watching SBTB, a commercial for e Harmony came on the tube. I think meeting the love of your life via the www is... quite frankly... hilarious. I get it. But it just seems so ridiculous! Maybe it's for people that are really, really busy! Anyway, I'm all for it. Ok, so. Julia met her boo, Adam, on e Harmony. When asked why and how and all that, she said, "e Harmony really hones in on your core values." That's super. But then, I got to thinkin. Hone? People use the word. But is it really a word? I looked it up.

It's a word! Woot!

When used as a phrasal verb (as Jules did), it means...

1. To move or advance toward a target or goal: The missiles honed in on the military installation.
2. To direct one's attention; focus: The lawyer honed in on the gist of the plaintiff's testimony.

Do I think Julia could have used a more... universal word? Absolutely. Maybe like... focus? Too easy?

Anyway, what are some other words that boggle your brainstem? I'll give you one. In high school, all the cool kids said, "F***in' A." I didn't use the phrase because 1. I didn't know what it meant, 2. I heard it in an excited tone and an angry tone, and that confused me, and 3. I didn't know what it meant.

Do you know what it means? I still hear it. And I still ask the user what it means and no one has been able to explain it to me. It's probably from a movie.. probably Napoleon Dynamite. It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.

And for the record.. I'm all for made up words. Just not words I don't know.

What's my favorite website? I'm glad you asked.

http://www.dictionary.com/

Happy Tuesday!




 

Monday Monday, So Good To Me...

The Mamas And The Papas!!

This weekend was super dee duper.. how 'bout those Masters?? What a fun finish to watch, right? Fellow (Just kidding..) South African, Charl Schwartzel left with the green jacket, winning by two strokes.

How presh is this pic of the 2011 CHAMP!

But more importantly, my boo, Tiger Woods, finished in a very respectable T4! Hey Babe!!

Yeah, that's right.

ANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD

Tim and Stef are engaged! WOO!

Work that angle!

And it was another successfull 2011 Go! St. Louis Marathon Weekend. Well, for Mom and I, anyway. We ran the 5K! HA! Marathoners who weren't halfway by 9am, were forced to run the half, because of the heat. (Perhaps they should have been running the half anyway??) Que bummer.

I guess that's it.

OH! OH! Lots of birthdays in April.
I'd like to wish a very happy day to Sarah Busta (Buss) and THE Donald (Jupp)!

Happy Monday!

Playing Catch-Up

Guess what today is. Round 2 of The Masters! Guess what I finally did. Uploaded my pictures!

Remember how I organized my jewelry?? No? I mentioned it here.

Mom found that little board at Target. It's also magnetic.

And on another wall..

A regular ol' bulletin board and push-pins.

And from Opening Day..

Can you find the eagle? Directly above the "W".

Play Ball!!

And I did a little bit of this stuff (below), because I love to talk about me, and you love to know about me.

1. What is one food that, as an adult you love, but as a child you said you’d never touch?

I have no idea! Pizza? Not.

I still hate pickles. Oh, as a kid I ate celery, now I'll die if it's anywhere near me.

Seriously, I. Will. Die.

2. Did you go to college? If yes, what was your major?

Your mom goes to college. HA!

I've actually never seen Napoleon Dynamite, but people always quote it.

And there's a t-shirt.

Ah. ADD.

Yes, I am a VERY proud alumna of Murray State University.

Home of the Thoroughbred Racers.

And the coolest fight song ever! Old Gray Mare, anybody?

My major was Exercise Science-Wellness.

And I graduated with honors.

Because I am awesome.

3. What’s the most wild animal you’ve seen in real life (not counting the zoo)?

Fox? I've been to a safari in Florida, where the buffalo roam.

There were no buffalo, I was just singing the song.

Anyway, an elephant tried to step on our car!

And a giraffe stuck his head in the winda!

4. Have you ever been to a fortune teller?

No. But I've had my palm read.

He told me some pretty freaky stuff, that I wouldn't want happening.

And then he told me I was left handed.

I am right handed.

I've also had a tarot card reading.

I felt like she was very general.

Like this will happen. And then that will happen. And then you'll have a decision to make.

Really?

5. Can you juggle?

I can juggle scarves, and bean bags, but for less time.

I can also juggle a soccer ball, no hands.

Go 'head. Ask me my highest ever.

6. Hardwood floors or carpet?

Hardwood is pretty pretty.

I think I prefer carpet in my bedroom.

7. Is it called “soda” or “pop”?

Depends where you live.

It's definitely not called "coke," Kentucky!

I call it sodie.

8. What was your first car?

A 1997 red, Mercury Mountaineer.

9. What is the most decadent dessert you’ve ever eaten?

Oh man. Let me look up decadent.

Bad idea. It means decaying?

I think it's supposed to mean, totally delicious.

I can't remember every dessert I've ever eaten.

I'm gonna go with McArthur's Bakery birthday cake.

Or Chocolate Long Johns from Heaven Scent Bakery.

Or!... I have two three more.

Aunt Corrine's pumpkin bars.

Anything from Party Pastry.

Mom's brownies!

10. How often do you rearrange your furniture?

Not often at all.

I caught you a delicious bass.



OMGW!

GUESS WHAT WES DID FOR US LAST NIGHT!!!

Booked our flights to D.C.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then Wes called Millard, IMMEDIATELY, and she did the same! I. Am. Psyched!

See you in 56 days, Barry!

Also, in the news. UConn beat Butler on Monday. How did your bracket turn out? Did you watch the game? It was grueling. As in, for the spectators. And Texas A&M took home the girl's Championship.

Moving on..

I know I have some new readers, although they haven't made themselves followers! WHY!
Hello to my friends at Digital Intersection.

I need to get my pics uploaded. From Opening Day. And, there is something else.

Um.. no. I think that's it. Hold on to your hats.

Happy Wednesday!

Cauliflower Pizza Crust

Cauliflower is one of my favorite words, but I wouldn't say it's one of my favorite veggies.. until made into a pseudo-pizza crust! HOLLER!

So, Mom and I have been kicking the 17 Day Diet's behind. Here's the link to Wikipedia's 17 Day Diet page..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/17_Day_Diet

Here's the book.

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=17+day+diet&tag=mh0b-20&index=aps&hvadid=189177883&ref=pd_sl_eppuq0x7w_e

The diet is designed by Dr. Mike Moreno, and as an expert in the health and fitness field, and a self-proclaimed "I hate diets" person, I totally recommend this one. Because it isn't a diet (Confused?). This isn't a fad diet. You're eating exactly how you should be eating. Cycle 1 is the most strict, obviously. And you're cutting out carbs from breads/grains all together (ok, for 17 days and a 'jump start', not ok for a lifetime. Shame on you, Dr. Adkins), and eating fruits (your only carbs) before 2pm. However, each cycle you're introducing something new.. like cycle two allows for some starches.. and of course, each cycle is 17 days long. Mom and I started Cycle 3, yesterday. It's completely doable, although I wouldn't say easy.

As for the cauliflower pizza crust..

Mix together:

1 cup riced cauliflower (Ma steamed it, then put it in the food processor – till it looked like mashed potatoes) (Pics are backward.. Sorrrrrryyyyyyyy)



1 cup Kraft Fat Free Mozzarella

2 large eggs (Ma used 1 egg white from a large egg and liked it better)

Makes 1 crust.

Spray cookie sheet with pam – spread “dough” as thin as possible and sprinkle with seasonings: parsley, oregano, garlic salt

Bake at 450 degrees for 12-15 minutes (Ma baked for 15-16 minutes till the middle was “browned”) She also made a 2nd crust with 2 eggs (that’s what the recipe called for) – and baked it for 20 minutes.

Here's the pic, for the visual learners..

 Wallah!

We cut into squares and dipped into Fat Free Spaghetti sauce. Mom and I ate them like chips.

Yum yum in my tum tum.

Happy Monday!