Thursday, September 30, 2010

Keep Your Fantasies To Yourself!


Today's guest blogger: Michael "Gooch" Juenger
Celeb Status: HUGE!

Gooch is expecting a baby GIRL any moment, she'll be named Jessica.. Awwwww

First and foremost I would like to apologize to anyone out there who plays these “games”. After all, it is not you that decides I am not taking part in all of this “non time consuming” (so you say) collaboration of pro-athlete all-stars in a stadium/arena/field of make believe. Now don’t get me wrong I like watching sports, I don’t get crazy like some people, but I like to watch. I even sometimes enjoy talking about the game the next day at work, or other social event. Those conversations usually end about 5 to 10 minutes after the highlights are hit.

Back to fantasy sports… I’m going to pick on football since that just started.. I have been asked multiple times if I wanted to join in on the fantasy extravaganza. I’ve been told, "you don’t have to follow it too closely and there’s not much work that you have to put in." I then attended a fantasy football draft (after I had already disagreed to playing). Ridiculous is the one word that came to mind.. well, really there was another word that came before that but we’re going to keep this clean folks. There were papers, charts, graphs, diagrams, spreadsheets, folders, dry-erase boards; I think I even saw some binders that probably held a dissertation on the art of fantasy sports. I’m pretty sure you need to have some kind of knowing of what’s going on there. That seems like a little more preparation than oh say making dinner or even researching what kind of TV I would get to watch these magnificent sports games on. Not to mention, the draft itself. I’m pretty sure it was an all day affair. Even after the draft itself was over, hours were spent talking about what went on. Then you have to decide on who’s “playing” and who’s riding the pine pony. You have to decide if you want to take someone’s offer to trade. I’m counting the work hours of consideration and thoughts this is taking already.

That’s what makes this whole thing a bigger pain than what it really is. Maybe I don’t understand the necessity because I refuse to take part in this. You never stop talking about what’s going on. “Who won last night?” “Who’s in first place?” “Can you believe so and so is trading this person?” “You should bench this guy and play that guy; he’s on a hot streak.” “I had 125 points sitting on the bench because I didn’t get online and make a switch.” This gets to be more than just water cooler talk and can last upwards of 30 to 45 minutes.. while more and more people surround your desk, each talking louder than the other, because you sit by Mr. Fantasy who started the conversation in the first place. Back to the point at hand, as this is not about where I sit at work, that’s a whole other story.. It’s great that you want to pretend you’re the manager of this amazing team you dreamed up one day, but how much do you have to talk about it. I mean some people host a party to select your dream team, how about you have a weekly meeting where you can get it out of your system. Go to a bar, have the boys over for a barbecue, find somewhere else to talk about this other than work day after day. Although I appreciate the bump in my stats from having to pick up your slack, I don’t want to have to do extra work from you lallygagging around in your dreamland.

NEWS FLASH: the "DREAM TEAM" has already been established.. it's called TEAM USA.. duh.. (not to be confused with the Mighty Ducks).
Thanks, Goochers! You da Man.
DISCLAIMER: Jill and Mike are expecting. However, they are keeping the sex of the bundle of joy a secret. It may not be a girl, and "Jessica" is not on their list.

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