Friday, December 2, 2011

Makeup Misadventure Megapost

HEY!

So, last night I went to a makeup event organized by Lancome at Macy's.  Got it?  Whoever made an appointment got their makeup done by some fancy pants make up artist, his name sounded like "Derek", but it was less American.  He had his team there, so I assumed they all had to be good (enough).  Know what I mean?  And Lancome boasted that "Derek" would do EVERY ONE's makeup in some form.  Well, turns out "Derek" did every one's eye color.  Before I go on, let me just say, I was VERY pleased with my makeup.  I bought the Smoldering Gold eye palette, which I've been trying to find online for the past 15 minutes and have had ZERO luck.  It's one of the holiday palettes, and a "limited edition" which I find to be extremely RUDE.  Here, let me encourage you to purchase this and love this, but you won't be able to find it after December 15 (I made that up, hopefully the case is the part that's limited edition).
My colors are different.  But see the case?
Can also find at Sephora.

So, I was expecting to have a little fun with the artist that was assigned to me.  Let's call him, Robin.  He was very rambunctious, flamboyant, and flirtin' with outrageous.  Well, eventually I became a little offended.  I was like, let's remember we don't really know each other! 

He asked me where my face got the most oily. 
I said, my skin is dry. 
He said, but when you get oily, where is your face the most oily?
I said, my skin is dry. 
He said, when you get oily, is it in your T-zone?
I said, my skin is dry.

HELLO! 

So, then he asked about my skin care routine.  I said I wash it, exfoliate, use day (or night) lotion, then an all over lotion, and extra sunscreen (my lotions have SPF in them, but I use more.  You can never use too much SPF!!  Wait.. Can you?).  Then, he told me my skincare routine wasn't good enough, and said no toner?  Really.  So, my skincare routine isn't good enough because you found the one thing I don't use.  He asked me if I need to replenish any part of my skin care, I said no.  And that seemed to be the end of it.  So, I didn't feel pressured to buy any of that.  But Robin did tell me at least four times why and that I should be using whatever it was, something in French.  I said if it's not from America, I'm not wearing it.  I didn't say that.  But should have.

After the skin care stuff came color.  Robin did my overall coverage, which was very pretty.  He kept telling me to "touch your face! touch your face! Isn't it soft!" Clearly, I mocked him, oh yeahhhhhhhh sooOOOOoooo soft!! Blah.  Same soft as Mary Kay!  I barely had any blush on, not sure if there was a purpose, or that's just what they thought.  And my lips were very pretty!  A very rich magenta, not hot magenta, rich.  But it's not a practical lip for me.  I like to not have to use a mirror to put my lip gloss/stuff on.  But I definitely kept the colors handy, so I could decide later.  A great holiday/party/event lip option.  Then, came "Derek" and the eyes. Whatevs.  The mood immediately went from borderline professional to totally unprofessional.  "Derek" and my guy were rather flirtatious, and there was a lot of inappropriateness.  Basically, I was ready to be donezo.  Again, once I saw my makeup, I loved it.  Especially my eyes.  That's another thing, I never saw anything until they were totally done.  When Robin asked if I wanted to purchase anything, I had to say, "I think so, but I don't know what you used or where you used it.  Can you show me?" And he did, of course.  But sheesh!  That's like you coming to the clinic and me saying, "Ok, 4 sets of 15, Go." 4 sets of 15 of what?

After my face was complete, a Lancome consultant asked if there was anything I couldn't leave without.  I told her the Smoldering Gold eye palette.  I thought she said she would get it for me.  So, I kind of waited around.  Chatted with Mom, Jan, Kiki and Janet.  And then felt like it had been a while, so Jan told me to head over to the Lancome counter.  I did.  I was stopped by a different Lancome consultant.  She asked, "Is your make up done?"  Ummmmmm... Really??  Which is exactly what I said to her, "You can't tell?" She came up with some BS, "Well, you're so young it's probably natural."

"Probably."

Then, she asked if she could help me.  I said I thought "Sarah" (I eventually found out her name, which isn't Sarah, but for the purpose of this awesome story, it is.) was getting my eye palette for me, but I'm not sure, because it's kind of been a while, so I thought I'd come check.  Well, then I was passed off to another consultant.  Said something along the same lines, and added, "She's over there chatting."  And I said it nicely, I wasn't trying to imply that shouldn't be doing that.  Just that I was confused and wanted my palette.  The woman said, "What did you say?" I said, "Chatting." She said, "Oh, I thought you said, 'Shatting.'"  Again, REALLY????  I was totally offended that she thought I would say that, and responded, "I wouldn't say something like that!" Well, I would.  But not in Macy's to someone I don't know, about someone I don't know.

JUST GIVE ME MY SHIT AND GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Finally, with the Smoldering Gold palette in hand, I left.

I'm worn out.

So, I still can't find the exact palette online.  But they are similar colors to what I've always worn.  Yellow gold, pinky gold, brown, and then there is this color that looks straight up like a piece of gunmetal.  When applied it looks a lot like glitter.  Which I LOVE!  And finally there is a black shadow in the palette.  I'm not a huge fan of eyeliner, I don't think I'm very good at it, which is a surprise to you because I'm good at so many things!  But I always feel like I look like a girl who is wearing eyeliner.  And I don't like it.  So, when I'm wearing eyeliner, it's usually a dark eyeshadow.  Well, this shadow goes on so smooth, it makes it so easy to line my eyes!  Again, I really love the makeup.

Happy Friday!
Hi-five for the best story EVER!

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