Canker Sores.

Yeah, that's right. Canker Sores.

I was gonna wait and just blog tomorrow so I could do another survey. But then it would totes look like I only blog on Wednesdays. Which appears to be partially true. And, of course, I don't have any pictures uploaded from the weekend. So I can't blog about that.

So, back to our topic of the day. First thing's first. Canker sores are NOT Herpes. Herpes is a virus. Canker sores are NOT. So save the jokes that Jessica's got herpes. 1. They're irrelevant and 2. They're not even funny.

I remember getting a canker sore as a young pup. And then a few here and there while growing up. Let's say a year ago-ish, I started getting them every month. Not cool. So, I googled "canker sore." (Smart. Eh?) I got some scoop and started paying more attention to when I got them and my en-vi-ron-mental factors. (Who's a genius!?) (I have to say en-vi-ron-mental like that to spell it right.)

Below is what my research concluded (these are also causes of canker sores).

1. A minor injury to your mouth from dental work, overzealous brushing, sports mishaps, spicy or acidic foods, or an accidental cheek bite (Check. Espesh overzealous brushing.. hilarious!)
2. Food sensitivities, particularly to chocolate, coffee, strawberries, eggs, nuts, cheese and highly acidic foods, such as pineapple (Check.)
3. Food allergies (Doubt it.)
4. A diet lacking in vitamin B-12, zinc, folate (folic acid) or iron (A Possibility. Check.)
5. An allergic response to certain bacteria in your mouth (Nope.)
6. Helicobacter pylori, the same bacteria that cause peptic ulcers (I mean.. probs.)
7. Celiac disease, a serious intestinal disorder caused by a sensitivity to gluten, a protein found in most grains (Hell no.)
8. Inflammatory bowel diseases, such as Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis (Totally check.)
9. Behcet's disease, a rare disorder that causes inflammation throughout the body, including the mouth (Ew. Stop it. NO.)
10. A faulty immune system that attacks healthy cells in your mouth instead of pathogens, such as viruses and bacteria (Probably sometimes.. like when i'm feeling yucky because I had too much alcky the night before.)
11. HIV/AIDS, which suppresses the immune system (Nope. I get tested every year. So should you.)
12. Hormonal shifts during menstruation (Holla if you hear me! Check!)
13. Emotional stress (Duh. I'm soooooooooooo emotional. Not really. But I'm sure it comes with numero 12.)
14. Toothpastes and mouth rinses containing sodium lauryl sulfate (Ohh, I need to check my toothpaste's ingredients.)

Also, some risk factors...

1. Being female. Canker sores, especially clusters of small lesions, are more common in women. (I am woman. Hear me roar. F! CHECK!)
2. Having a family history. About one-third of people with recurrent canker sores have a family history of the disorder. This may be due to heredity or to a shared factor in the environment, such as certain foods or allergens. (Mom got one the other day. Check!)

(Work cited http://www.bing.com/health/article/mayo-125955/Canker-sore?q=canker+sores)

Ok. So. Bottom line.

Jessica will get canker sores.

So, once I figured all this mumbo jumbo out. I took matters into my own hands and called mi doctora. She said, "There is no cure." I said, "I WANT A SECOND OPINION!" Just kidding. Then she said, "Try Vitamin B." So I did! And it WORKED! Until now (Actually, I think it's still working). I currently have two canker sores brewing. HOWEVER, I'm confident they're less ridiculously painful than pre-Vitamin B. I bit the heckles out of my lip a few days ago, so I expected a canker sore. There is definitely some type of lesion, but I feel like it's getting better instead of worse. KNOCK ON WOOD. And I noticed a little soreness on the inside of my cheek. But again, I think it's getting better. Please little baby Jesus, let me be right!

I've tried the junk you put on canker sores to 'numb' them or whatever. It doesn't work. As soon as something touches the spot where you put the junk, it ruins whatever the junk was trying to do. Plus, it tastes awf! I've also tried the mouth washes specifically FOR canker sores. I don't remember it helping, but it certainly didn't hurt. I've also been told to put a dab a regular ol' mouthwash on the canker sore. It will hurt for a moment, but relieve you of the pain afterwards. It definitely murdered my mouth, but didn't relieve me of anything after 20 hours of sobbing and holding ice cubes to my previously murdered lip or cheek. I've tried chewing bell peppers (home remedy). Chewing peppers is supposed to take the pain out. It doesn't.

Do you have any tips for me and my canker sores?

Happy Tuesday. Sorry if I grossed you out.